I’m not paranoid it’s just the police are trying to kill me

Working late one night in the ER a 22 year old female patient was brought in for treatment by the paramedics. Below is the actual nurse’s note I wrote while monitoring the patient. No patient confidentially is broached with this entry as this note was read in public court in it’s entirety. As you read this imagine it is being said at the speed of that guy who used to do the shipping commercials (i.e., very fast). I added punctuation although she rarely paused to distinguish separate thoughts.

0042 AM (My initial note.) Patient to treatment area speaking rapidly and unable to carry on a coherent conversation. Many statements of demon and bible control. Patient states she is a doctor, psychiatrist, Jesus and many others. Asking to speak to a psychiatrist.

Q. Why did you call an ambulance tonight?

A. I called an ambulance for my mother because the horseradish spilled on the floor because it was poison. Where you think you are you are not. This is the sign of not worshiping the beast. I took Actifed today. Do you know anything about the law?

Q. Biblical or mans law?

A. Law of the land. The judges were put here to put to death those who sin. I’m not paranoid it’s just the police are trying to kill me. I am master of my own chemicals.

Q. Who do you live with?

A. Mother. Soon I’ll be very famous. It’s a sacrifice that’s why I do drugs. I’m speaking English and you hear Spanish. My mothers a bear and my brothers a bull. I have five brothers and sisters. I saw a picture of my sisters yesterday and one had a blue eye and one green eye. I knew because my mother the bear had these ribs in her mouth which are my three sisters. Law and psychology are cake to me. I’m a musician and write poetry that is too powerful to let out. The only help I need is nothing anyone can comprehend.

Q. What are you sacrificing?

A. Spirit, soul. If it wasn’t for me harm would come to everybody else, we’re alone in the jungle not a jungle but the forest, the Amazon. My dad was murdered by police. My dad is alive and well.

Q. Why are you here? You told me you called the ambulance because the horseradish fell on the floor.

A. I spilled it and I looked down and I knew I spilled it for a reason. My mom (because my moms powerful) told me that I overdosed on crystal meth. The devil is feasting on me because I’m trying to tell her the truth. I told the cop do you have special eyes? One night she offered me soup and I knew because she is never nice to me. My family used to own half of California. What do you do when your mothers a real mother and really nurturing? I’m sacrificing by doing drugs. I don’t have to do drugs but I’m sacrificing. Brother in jail there illegally cause he went against messiah.  

0330 AM (Nurses note) 40 minute stream of obscenities stopped briefly.

Ah, the joys of crystal meth. The stream of scattered thought started the moment she walked in the door and continued until 0445 when the police took her to the State Hospital for commitment. She spent thirty days at the hospital and met a gentleman who was also there for crystal meth abuse. The judge denied the petition to commit and she and her new boyfriend moved into an apartment together.

Left out of the story were the screaming hour long rants of obscene language. She refused to pee for us and refused to drink any fluids so about six of us restrained her with four point leathers. We then wrestled in a foley catheter to find she was dry. We then started IV fluids because we were concerned about Rhabdomyolysis (muscle wasting) a common side effect of crystal meth use. It was a very long night.

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